Everything Changed in an Instant...
Today my beautiful sister would have been 42 years old. Two years and 2 weeks ago, I came home from work to find out that she was gone. No illness, no accident…Just gone, forever.
Mary Ellen was funny, smart, a wise ass, and a free spirit. I explained it to a friend just last week while visiting in NY that even though in many ways we seemed so different, we were actually the same. We were the full expression of the opposite parts of each other. Kind of like yin and yang. We both had all the same parts, but what was expressed was different.
It's so hard to explain unless you have a sister. She is in every cell of my body. She is in my DNA. We grew up sleeping in the same queen sized bed for years. Laughing, pinching, fighting over covers. We walked to school together, shared friends, had the same inside jokes and told each other EVERYTHING...And yes, we fought. We could have brutal fights growing up and then be snuggled up together. The last time I saw her alive, she told me I should kick my husband out of bed so that we could sleep together. I wish I had.
There are no words for how deep my love for her flows or how connected I still am to her. How I see her in myself and in my youngest daughter every day.
The loss of Mary Ellen was the driving force behind leaving my "corporate" job managing lots of people. I had a nice salary and benefits, a great title and only 4 people above me in the company. Something I had worked for my whole career.
But it wasn't my purpose. I wasn't meant to deliver disciplinary action and manage office schedules. I was meant to empower women to change the world; To step into their roles as leaders and game changers. I was meant to help women fulfill their passion and purpose and make this world a safer, healthier, more equal place for everyone. I was meant to help them have financial independence so that they could take care of themselves and their families and have a say in the world around them. I was meant to help them have families and a career without guilt. I was meant to pave the way for my daughters to truly be anything they want to be in the world, not just pay lip service to it. I was meant to change the world by empowering all women to believe in themselves enough to do it too by sharing their unique gifts, talents and passions. My sister is the reason I only work with women.
Years ago, I left my first marriage because I knew I was not the best version of myself in that marriage and never could be. I knew that I was called to serve a whole lot more people than I currently was and that I couldn't reach my full potential of service if I stayed. It was a calling and as painful of a decision as it was, I was called to it. So, when Mary Ellen died, it was a reminder, I had taken a detour. A needed detour, but it was time to course correct and serve this higher purpose.
Your Mess is Your Message. My message is that you can overcome anything and be a light in the world. You have to do the healing work to be able to do it. You can't skip over it; there are no easy escapes. But you don't have to fall into victim mentality. You don't even have to fall into survivor mentality. You can be a thriver and your story, can change the world.
My family and I have had more than our share of trauma. I can't explain that, but I can use it as a driving force for all the good I want to do in the world. I can choose to take these losses and change the world.
It is time for women to stop playing small, to stop accepting victimhood and to start standing in their power, in their gifts, and changing the world for the better in whatever special way that is. I have one client who is helping people live their best life in recovery, another client who is helping people have their best health naturally, and another who is creating a supermarket to serve busy families in her community. All of these are game-changers. It may not be what you think of when you think of big ambition or changing the world, but I think it is. They are impacting their communities making life easier and better for others.
If you have a big ambition, a big gift, a big vision, I want to know it. I want to help you unleash it. Please comment below and share your big vision with us.
It's time ladies. Our time is now!